Let’s suspend the politics and cultural implications of the movie. For the moment, let’s don our blinders and focus exclusively on Django the husband. He’s one bad mofo, wouldn’t you say? Braving the elements for miles and miles, slaying (in a most gruesome fashion) anyone who gets in his way, all in the name of love for his dear wife.
Of course it’s just a movie, full of exaggeration and inaccuracy, but the message here is powerful: This man, this black man, loves his wife, and he isn’t going to let distance, danger or even the evil institution of slavery keep him from her. Put that in your bullhorn and blast it.
Following are 4 lessons we could all learn to strengthen our precious marriages:
While speaking with his enlightened German business partner, Django explains that he and his wife believe in marriage, despite the fact that his slave owner didn’t. He is wise enough to understand the value of marriage, the significance of commitment. He doesn’t concern himself with the polluted thoughts of those who don’t acknowledge his marriage. To him, it is sacred and must be protected.
Now, why can’t we real-life people hold marriage in such esteem? Instead of divorcing at the drop of a dime and airing our dirty laundry on Facebook and Twitter, we should remind ourselves of the sanctity of marriage. It’s kind of a big deal.
Django begins the movie as a slave who has been separated from his wife. It doesn’t look good. No one would blame him if he just decided to give up and move on, but he doesn’t. He takes advantage of the opportunity to be reunited with his love–even though it’s hard, even though it’s unlikely, even though it takes a soul-shaking amount of dedication that few can muster. That’s how determined he is to save his wife and his marriage. This is the type of determination all married couples need. We must journey toward each other like magnets, unable to escape the pull.
How easy is it to cheat when your wife is gone and probably never coming back? Too easy. Most people wouldn’t even see it as cheating, but Django isn’t most people. He’s a yearning husband who wants nothing and no one other than his wife. There is a scene where he is left alone with a female slave. He grabs her and pushes her up against a tree, not to make sexual advances, but to talk to her about the men he’s seeking out. The fact that he’s separated from his wife is immaterial. He’s married. He’s committed. Point blank, period.
Django emotionally stable
There are a few scenes where Django feels his wife is in danger. He wants, with every fiber of his being, to grab her and whisk her to safety, but he knows that would blow his disguise and ruin any chance of them being together. So, instead, he plays it cool and further assesses the situation.
This is major. The ability to control your emotions and voluntarily respond rather than involuntarily react is a crucial asset in any marriage. It makes all the difference in your interactions, especially the difficult ones. So many people have a tendency to lose their filters when emotions are high. It’s as if the feeling of anger gives you licence to, well, flip out. NOT the case.
Tap into your inner Django and preserve your marriage.