How do you make someone love herself? I guess if there were a simple answer to this question, we wouldn’t have as many troubled soul as we do.  So, is that it? Should I just drop it? Let it go? Move on and worry only about myself and Baby Zara? No, can’t do that. Would feel all icky inside.  Gotta find a solution, because women and girls are hurting. And that hurts me.

I couldn’t believe when I saw what Heidi Montag had done to herself. She took her used-to-be-pretty face and turned it into a poor approximation of Barbie. “Why would someone do that?” is the question I want to ask, but sadly, I already know the answer.  Our society teaches women to value their beauty above all else. Before our brains, before our hearts, before our blindingly bright spirits, we believe that beauty lies in all things visible.

It seems we’ve forgotten, or perhaps never learned, that physical attributes only represents a small sliver of true beauty. The rest of it is made up of an elaborate mix of the things that make you who you are: your penchant for the color purple, your quirky sense of fashion, your attractive intelligence. These elements shine through to create a type of beauty that no makeup or scalpel could ever imitate.

But this isn’t the message that gets circulated. It takes a backseat to the technicolor declarations of a desperate need to be sexy. That’s what we learn, that not only are we obligated to live up to a narrow definition of beauty, but that we must go even further and be sexy. Sexiness gives worth. It attracts men and lets them know “Hey, I’m worth paying attention to.” Without it, we’re just poor, lonely creatures, or at least that’s what they would have us think.

Heidi Montag is no different than a lot of other women that are seeking validation. She made a list of “problem areas” that were keeping her from reaching her Ultimate Sexy and did something about it. I wish I could tell her that she was completely valid before the overhaul, but what’s done is done. I can tell you, though, that you are more than enough. You, in your natural, God-given form, meet every standard  and contain infinite worth. Hear this, accept this, and spread the good news.

~Nadirah Angail