So, I’ve built a reputation for being a straight-to-the-point, no-nonsense kind of blogger. Back when I was younger, I remember thinking, “I want to be the type of writer that makes people feel like I’m talking to them, like we’re having a conversation.” I think I’ve done that, particularly with my marriage articles. I get a lot of feedback on them, but I’m scared I may have given some people the wrong idea.
I write a lot about the hardships of marriage and relationships. I do it so much that some people may have gotten the idea that I’m saying marriage is nothing but a headache and a task. I may have some single readers thinking, “Hell, if it’s that hard, I’d rather just stay single. Ain’t nobody got time for all that.”
I write this way because I want to help couples form more realistic expectations, and I really want to help couples that are struggling, but I never meant to give marriage a bad wrap. The truth is that I absolutely love being married. My husband “put a ring on it” 4 years ago, and haven’t looked back since. Even when we’re fighting and not getting along, I still love it because, even then, I can tell I married a good man who would never hurt me intentionally. I also think arguing teaches me a lot about myself and my weaknesses, so even the bad parts are good.
I love (and I mean really love) being married. It’s absolutely refreshing to have someone I truly trust and love by my side everyday. To me, marriage is about forming a partnership with a person that will help you through life. He lifts you up when you need it, and you do the same for him. Marriage provides someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, someone to eat with, someone to raise children with, someone to travel with, someone to watch your favorite shows with, someone to do the cleaning with, someone to talk about your food cravings with, someone to share that food with when you do finally get it, someone to… Okay, I think you get the picture. I’ll stop there.
Even with all the annoyances and miscommunication that happen in marriage, I still prefer it to being single. The joy I get from this relationship far outweighs the anger/frustration/straight-up-pissed-offness I feel at times. It’s like parenting. My daughter is the best thing ever in life, but she still makes me upset when she pours her cereal on the floor or writes all over the wall. Still, I wouldn’t trade her for the world. I accept everything that comes along with raising a child, just like I accept everything that comes along with maintaining a marriage. It’s not always easy, but it is always necessary.
Being married has forced me to mature in areas that probably would have remained ignored if I were still single. It has forced me to be more introspective and to challenge myself to do things that, in the end, turn out to be beneficial. In short, marriage rocks! My mother always says, “Choose wisely, treat kindly.” I’ve already made a wise decision. Now I’m busy being kind and enjoying the life we’re creating together.
~Nadirah Angail
You are so right about marriage. There are challenges, but they will never overshadow the amazing love that you receive. My hubby isn’t perfect…but he’s my best friend and that is worth so much more than perfect. I know he feels the same way about me. <3
Nadirah,buying into the concept that marriage is hard has always been a difficult thing for me to agree with. Are we met with challenges, yes; but the challenge is where the growth stems from.
My belief is marriage is about maturity and many folks just don’t want to mature. Selfishness, pride and the inability to work as a cohesive unit rules in many marriages. This is where the marriage is hard tagline comes in.
I think you alluded to the aforementioned in your swiss cheese post. We get married for someone to do what we need to be doing for self. Yes,our spouses do complete us, but that completion isn’t about filling a void or holes that I should be filling myself. It is about us bringing our unique gifting together and multiplying each other. Rather than being in opposition because I don’t see or understand what you see.
12 years in marital bliss, my wife and I disagree on a lot, argue about nothing and understand that the oneness of our marriage is what takes precedent.
But with all that said, GREAT post!
http://www.ruleyourwife316.com
R, I agree. It’s definitely about maturity and the understanding that a spouse can’t fill the voids you’re supposed to, but I think the “hard” part comes in when you consider the society we live in. We like shows and movies about weddings, but don’t really offer enough resources to support and educate couples about marriage and what it takes. I don’t want to sell the idea that marriage is hard, but that it does involve work (just like any other important part of life) and that it will have moments of hardship. Those moments, though, should definitely be outweighed by the good.
Congrats on 12 years! LOVE to hear that. Keep it up and thanks for commenting!
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