Every Sunday (as long as there is submitted content) I’ll be featuring a post from another cool blogger. Let me know if you’re interested in participating.
Today, our guest blogger explains how something as small as dropping a piece of trash on the ground let her know that a guy was not the one.
By. Lisa Marie
Whenever I discuss relationships with my female friends or romantic interests, the question of what are you looking for in a man always arises. My answers would be typical- tall, handsome, nice, funny. I always give politically correct answers, the answer everyone wants to hear. I guess the answers I wanted to give. Deep down, I always knew there was something missing something that was a must have.
The other night a friend of many years, tried to persuade me that we should date. As I sat and listened to him talk about how our personalities meshed well, our chemistry was great, and we always had great adventures; I found myself thinking that he was giving a great argument, but something was lacking in our relationship. Was it because our ambitions were off, our goals not aligned, I’m a planner and he lives in the moment? At one point it was cute; we were opposites that had similarities. Yet when he asked me why we could not get together, I couldn’t look him in the eye and give a straight honest answer, because I myself didn’t know why.
As we sat in the car listening to music in the comfortable silence we always shared, he did something that made the light bulb go off. It was as clear as day to me why we would never work. He finished his drink and threw the can out the window. My eyes opened wide and I turned to him and said “why do you always litter?” He responded “you never had a problem before” I looked at him, shook my head, and responded “Yes I did, I thought you out grew that nonsense.” He looked at me with bewilderment, like I was crazy. It was then I realized that a quality in a man that would determine if we dated, would be does he litter?
Simple statement? Not really. Littering and polluting goes way deeper. If a man litters, he shows me, two things about his personality and his character.
1. Impatience- So you mean to tell me you can’t wait 5 minutes until you reach home or a garbage can to throw out your trash? What happens if I ask you to pick me up from the train station, will you drive off because I am late? If we are in disagreement, will you storm off before we can come to a solution?
2. Inconsiderate- You do realize when you litter you do a disservice to your community- instead of beautifying your neighborhood, you just downgraded it. This planet is your home so treat it with respect. If I had a long day at work, you would expect me to clean and cook, instead of taking on the tasks yourself?
Is it a stretch to say that if a person litters, it would deter my interest? Is it a stretch to want a man that is funny, honest, good looking, and practices the same faith? When determining a potential partner, you will never find your perfect mate, but that does not mean that certain qualities and characteristics need to be put on the backburner. Some things can be compromised in a relationship and many things can be worked on and changed, however, some characteristics in a person become such a habit and ingrained in their personalities, that change is not an option.
I never thought that littering could take precedence over any characteristics I looked for in a man, but it is something now that I highly consider. What about you?
A Few Words About the Author
Lisa-Marie, a native New Yorker was raised by her Haitian born parents, who stressed the importance of education. Encouraged and supported by her family, she received her Bachelor of Arts Degree from Spelman College and Master of Science Degree from the University of Miami. Though this was a huge accomplishment for Lisa-Marie, something was missing in her life. Upon her graduation she had to overcome the job market obstacle. After spending months job hunting, she realized that she was pursuing the wrong passion.
Lisa-Marie feels that her life purpose is to aid individuals through community work and her writing. She has found a way to uniquely combine her many interests and apply it to alternative interests by started her own wellness company called Closed Lids.