This is not a premeditated post. I haven’t worked on it and tweaked it, researched it and refined it. I actually signed into my account to fix a typo I saw on my page and I decided, “Hey, you need to write something.” So here I am, writing.
Though my posts are usually pretty short, I put a lot of thought into them. I take them pretty seriously–too seriously, perhaps. That explains why I sometimes don’t post for a while, because I haven’t thought up anything good enough to be written. The result is that I end up neglecting my blog and my readers. Shame on me.
When you have something that is important to you, something you’re passionate about, you have to pursue it. Like, FOR REAL pursue it. I think the problem with most people (myself included) is that they talk about what they want to do, but don’t really do it. They see how hard it is and end up giving up. I won’t lie; it is hard. Pursuing my writing career while mothering a not-quite-2-yr-old and preparing to mother another is HARD. I’m sure it would be easier if I just put her in daycare and got a full-time job doing family therapy (the field my graduate degree is in), but that’s not what I want. I would like to get back to therapy when my schedule permits, but it’s a distant second to my writing.
I think too many of us settle for what is easiest rather than what we really want. I don’t want to look back on my life and think, “Man, I sure wish I put more effort into my writing. I sure wish I published at least one book.” That’s why I went ahead and jumped into the self-publishing arena without knowing at all what I was doing. I had to. I owed it to myself and my daughter.
I got my proof in the mail for my second book, my novel. I was so happy to get it, to actually be able to hold it. It was one thing to have the ebook available, but to have a tangible copy in my hands is completely different. I guess it feels different with this book because it’s so much thicker than my first book. This one looks like a real book, like I really know what I’m talking about. Haha. Not that my first one wasn’t serious. It is, very serious, actually. This one just feels different. My daughter has been walking around the house all day pretending to read the book. So cute. I hope she doesn’t rip the cover off, but even if she does, I’m happy to have done something that will contribute to my legacy. When she is older, she’ll be able to look back at the books her mother wrote. She’ll be able to use that as motivation to do whatever it is that spurs her heart. I love that feeling.
~Nadirah Angail
